Shakespeare’s New Year’s Resolutions

Last year I resolved that I would make my New Year’s Resolutions before the new year actually started. Well, that didn’t go so well. But at least it is not March. March is usually the time I give up on all the resolutions I haven’t made yet, and tell myself I’ll do better next January.

This year, to avoid boring myself to death, I am using William Shakespeare as my guide to resolution making. My resolutions are basically the same every year, but in iambic pentameter they sound so much more poetic.

“Nothing can come of nothing.” This is Shakespeare’s equivalent of “If you don’t know where you’re going, it doesn’t matter how you get there.” Thus, my first goal is to set some goals. This is known as the gateway goal. You can’t make any other goals until you make a goal to make goals. Now I am talking in circles and definitely going nowhere.

“Can you have too much of a good thing?” When speaking about food, it is very useful to define what “good” is. We can mean good: delicious or good: nutritious. This year I am going to try to eat less of the good food and eat more of the good food. You can interpret that as you will.

“Do you not know that I am a woman? When I think I must speak.” I’m not trying to put any words into Shakespeare’s mouth, but I think this might have been a slam on the female gender. However, I take it as a challenge to use my brain and speak up about things I see in my community and country that need to be fixed. I’m going to use my voice to make a positive difference in the world. It’s not that hard to write a letter or two to my governor or Congressman. My first cause is to see what I can do about getting Hostess up and running again. I will die without blackberry fruit pies. (See resolution #2)

“To be or not to be, that is the question.” My life tends to be a series of to-do lists. My challenge this year is to be somebody and not just do something, because, my lists aren’t going to get me there. Club memberships and clean toilets and good deeds are not a list of deposits required in some heavenly account. The gospel is a plan to show us how to become what Heavenly Father wants us to become. This flurry of activity should help me become something. Jesus said we must be converted, not just do stuff.

“Lord, what fools these mortals be!” Have you ever questioned the way God is running the universe? Why does He let bad things happen? Why do people suffer? Why won’t my teenage son make his bed? This year, I will remember that my ways are not God’s ways, and if I don’t understand something, it is not because God is doing it wrong or because He does not exist.

What are your New Year’s resolutions?

January 15, 2013  |  Humor, Inspirational

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